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part 1

by Lord Thanatos


01/02/12 24/04/12







1. Sourpuss distraction

2. Five o’clock wake up call

3. Ribbing

4. Towering phone bill

5. Bartenders be free

6. Blabla bluff

7. The feminine animal inside

8. Catch-22

9. The good bartender, the bad Klingon and the ugly Inj






SCENE 1: Sourpuss distraction


The USS Greate Pier has just left the planet Deish behind and is heading for the last known location of the third and last Behemoth. Captain LT and his first officer Commander Eisinga are in the captain’s ready room.


Eisinga: “We have no powerful ally in this vicinity to battle the Inj with, but I’m glad we’ve left this planet behind, LT…”


LT: “Agreed. But we’ll find a way to beat them ourselves, Eldert… We don’t need the Deish. I hope…”


After about 3 seconds, the captain goes on in a confident voice…


LT: “Well, we’ve managed to destroy the other 2 Behemoths as well… Speaking of enemies… In an effort to prevent the admiral from hassling me, or you for that matter, about the phone prank you pulled, I’ve asked Captain Newlin of the USS Van Rosemondt to help out.”


Eisinga: “Oh? Help out with what exactly?”


LT: “Since he’s not too fond of dear Admiral Grant either, he agreed to spam him with reports and updates on the Inj threat and other things…”


Eisinga laughs out loud.


Eisinga: “Hahaha! That is awesome… Maybe he’ll forget all about it…”


LT: “Let’s hope so… That’s also the reason we need to press on. We need to find that last Behemoth again; that should make him happy…”


Eisinga: “I doubt anything will make him happy…”



SCENE 2: Five o’clock wake up call


Meanwhile, on the bridge, Holcraft is in charge.


Pattison: “We’ve reached the denser part of the nebula, sir.”


Stuckman: “This is roughly where we saw the Behemoth before it disappeared off of our scanners.”


Holcraft: “All stop.”


Pattison puts the brakes on.


Pattison: “All stop confirmed, sir.”


Holcraft: “What was their heading?”


Stuckman: “Let’s see…”


Stuckman operates a few buttons on his science console.


Stuckman: “133 mark 1.”


Holcraft: “Assuming they traveled at their maximum speed during all this time, how long does it take for us to catch up?”


Stuckman: “Well, their impulse engines are capable of just 48% of the speed of light… Ehm, I need to do some calculating…”


The captain and his first officer enter the bridge from the ready room.


LT: “Status?”


Holcraft: “We’re holding position at the point where the Behemoth disappeared. Stuckman is calculating when we’ll be able to catch up with it if we follow their original heading.”


The ensign already has an answer.


Stuckman: “In 81 seconds at warp 8.”


LT: “Alright, let’s go then.”


Maresca: “Captain, we’ve received a text message from USS Van Rosemondt earlier…”


LT and Eldert reach their chairs. Holcraft returns to his own.


LT: “Remind me later, crewman. I need to put my mind to this issue first…”


Maresca: “Aye, sir.”


LT: “Helm?”


Pattison: “Warp 8, sir, heading 133 mark 1.”


LT: “Good, good… Let’s hope they’re somewhere close to where we’ll end up. This nebula is vast.”


Stuckman: “Its vastness isn’t the only problem… Scanners are next to useless in here…”


Holcraft: “I’m surprised the engines work as well as they do…”


We get a forward view showing us a nice, colorful nebula. About a minute later on the bridge…


Pattison: “10 seconds to go, sir.”


LT: “Alright, stop the ship when the time is up, ensign.”


Pattison: “Aye, sir.”


Eisinga: “I wonder if they’re out here… They could’ve changed their heading and speed about 100,000 times in the last 48 hours.”


LT: “Well, it’s the only thing to go on with our sensors being rendered pretty much useless.”


Pattison: “All stop, sir.”


LT: “Stuckman, can you squeeze any information out of the sensors?”


Stuckman: “I’ll try, sir…”


The ensign operates the controls to the best of his abilities.


Stuckman: “No, nothing is showing up, sir…”


LT: “What’s the effective range of our sensors?”


Stilson: “No more than about 1.2 million kilometers, sir…”


LT: “Hmm… Then let’s hope their scanners are as useless as ours in here.”


Eisinga: “Maybe we should keep following their original heading at their maximum speed. We have to exit the nebula at some point…”


LT: “That’ll take days if not weeks…”


Stuckman: “4 and a half weeks to be exact…”


Eisinga: “Well, that’s not an option then, is it?”


LT: “I guess not, but I’m open to all other suggestions…”


Stuckman: “Maybe there’s a way to boost the sensor power, but I’d have to work with engineering on that.”


LT: “Get on it, Stuckman. In the meantime we’ll hold position right here… No sense in flying blindly in a random direction…”


Maresca: “Well, since we’re stuck here for a bit, captain, do you wish to read the message Captain Newlin sent?”


Stilson rudely interrupts by yelling.


Stilson: “No, the captain does not! Helm, get us out of here now!”


LT: “Crewman?”


Stilson: “Please, sir, no time!”


In a calm voice, the captain makes the order official.


LT: “Helm, get us out of here!”


Pattison: “Aye, sir!”


Stilson: “The Behemoth is on a ramming course!”


Pattison works as hard as she can and the ship slowly starts to move. But it’s too late… The Behemoth rams the Greate Pier from a 5 o’clock angle. The ship is hurled off into a random direction while the Behemoth initially continues on its heading. People are flying all over the place. The captain drags himself back in his chair and shouts his commands.


LT: “Red alert! All hands to battle stations! Captain to engineering. Status?!”


Serrag: “Heavy damage to the starboard nacelle, warp is unavailable, impulse is also unavailable.”


LT: “Damn! Get impulse engines online a.s.a.p.!”


Serrag: “We’re on it, sir!”


LT: “How about weapons?”


Serrag: “Not available… We’re operating on auxiliary power only; environmental systems are operational on that basis, but not much else… Even inertial dampers are partially offline… We cannot sustain another one of those hits.”


LT: “Do what you can, but give priority to impulse engines followed by weapons.”


Serrag: “Aye, sir!”


LT: “Maresca, try and get a signal through to Starfleet.”


She tries…


Maresca: “No go, sir… The nebula is too dense…”


LT: “Figures. Keep trying anyway. Inform them of our situation.”


Maresca: “Yes, sir.”



SCENE 3: Ribbing


A man and a woman support a male colleague when they enter sickbay. His leg is broken and he seems to be in pain… The doctor is busy with another patient, as are all other medical personnel. The woman requests attention for the latest patient.


Woman: “Doctor, we’ve got a broken leg here.”


Doctor Shelley leaves her current patient, as his injuries are less immediate.


Shelley: “Put him in that chair, the beds are all occupied. What happened?”


She grabs a medical scanner and starts her work as soon as the injured man is seated.


Woman: “He broke his leg when he was smacked into his own console… Inertial dampers we’re damaged by the impact.”


Eve now directly addresses the patient.


Shelley: “Indeed, crewman, your leg is broken in 3 different places…”


No response from the patient. Then he suddenly faints. The man who helped him to sickbay quickly prevents the crewman from falling from his chair. Eve scans the rest of the patient for damage.


Shelley: “That broken leg is the least of his worries; he has a splenic rupture with massive internal bleeding. Cole! Remove Stuckman from the biobed immediately! Quickly, or he might not make it…”


Stuckman: “I thought I was done being thrown around… First in the corridors, now here…”


Cole: “Stop whining, you only have a mild concussion.”


Stuckman: “I’ll take the chair then…”


Cole: “Someone will be with you as soon as possible…”


Stuckman: “So will the Inj…”


The woman addresses her male colleague.


Woman: “Did she say he ’might not make it’?”


Now addressing Doctor Shelley…


Woman: “Doctor, what will…”


The doc doesn’t allow for her shipmate to complete her question…


Shelley: “Unless you have another critically wounded colleague hidden in your pocket I suggest you leave sickbay now!”


The man puts his hand on the woman’s shoulder and leads her out of sickbay.


Man: “Let’s go… Let the doctors do their work…”


The doctor and several colleagues, including Cole, get the passed out man on the biobed. The clothing on his upper body is removed quickly.


Shelley: “Cellular microsuture!”


Cole already has one in her hand, anticipating the doctor’s request.


Cole: “Right here, doctor…”


Shelley: “Thank you. Set up a hemadrain.”


The doctor uses the cellular microsuture to repair the damage to the spleen while Cole rolls in a hemadrain unit from the adjacent storage room. The device is mounted on a cart and has a large, translucent blood collector on top, about 10 centimeters in diameter. A hose extends from the side of the device with a hypospray-like implement at the end. She switches the hemadrain on.


Shelley: “The spleen has been repaired, go ahead.”


Cole: “Yes, doctor.”


She places the implement on the torso of the unfortunate man and makes steps of several centimeters at a time to cover the entire area. The blood from the internal bleeding is extracted from the patient’s abdomen and starts to fill the collection chamber on top of the hemadrain. Shelley picks up her medical tricorder again and monitors the progress.


Shelley: “You’re doing well… Most of the blood has already been drained.”


Cole glances at the hemadrain’s readout while she continues to cover the entire torso with the medical instrument.


Cole: “850 milliliters and counting…”


Shelley: “Quite a bit, but luckily they brought him in when they did… He’ll pull through.”


Around them there are still several colleagues treating other patients in what seems like organized chaos. Shelley keeps scanning.


Shelley: “All done, Yasmine.”


Cole: “Good.”


Cole puts the hose back into the holder on the machine.


Shelley: “Filter the blood and give it back to the patient. It’s legally his.”


Yasmine switches to device to filter mode with a smile on her face.


Shelley: “Now then, while the blood is being filtered, please repair the lower 2 ribs on the left and his leg. After that, he’ll be as good as new… Here’s an osteogenic stimulator.”


Cole: “Thank you. I’m on it, doctor…”


Shelley looks at Cole as she’s repairing the broken ribs and can’t help but smile amid the medical mayhem in her sickbay.


Shelley: “You may have passed your medical exam with flying colors, but this is the real test for you in many ways… And so far, the colors are flying again.”


Yasmine keeps both her feet firmly on the ground after this big compliment.


Cole: “Oh, I don’t know, doctor… This is my second big test in medicine, I guess… The situation at Behlamun was worse. Not so much blood and wailing going on there; it wasn’t as hectic as it had already been a while since the attack happened. But the physical damage done was much worse.”


Shelley: “Well, let’s hope they can get the engines back online, else it might get a lot worse if the Behemoth catches up again… And by the way, the hectic part is what separates the real doctors from the… well, from the people who won’t be doctors much longer, hahaha.”


The women laugh…


Margon: “Can you keep it down over there?”


The Klingon is on a biobed 2 places over being tended to by Halstead. He’s sitting up and looking angry.


Halstead: “Lie back down, lieutenant. I’m not done yet…”


Shelley: “We’re just laughing, Margon…”


Cole: “We’re sending out positive energy…”


With an angry voice the lieutenant replies.


Margon: “Next you’ll be throwing around flower petals and singing about rainbows and furry Earth creatures! Now hush!”


Halstead: “Come on, lie down… You’re just aggravated because of the pain…”


Margon: “Pain? Klingons thrive on pain… But I hardly feel anything…”


Halstead now roughly pushes the Klingon back down on the bed. The Klingon is in pain again…


Margon: “AH!”


Halstead: “Ah, so you are feeling your 14 broken ribs, lieutenant…”


The other ladies are laughing out loud again…


Margon: “Just get it over with so I can get out of this funhouse…”


Shelley: “Laughter is the best medicine, as they say… Join us and you’ll be out of here in no time…”


The Klingon gives up with an annoyed grunt…


Margon: “AGH!”



SCENE 4: Towering phone bill


On the bridge, things are still tense.


Eisinga: “As long as we don’t have any form of propulsion, we’re sitting ducks…”


LT: “Indeed… Perhaps we should anticipate the worst case scenario and move the ducks into a better pond…”


Eisinga: “Sir?”


LT: “Captain to all hands. All non-essential personnel are hereby ordered to go to cargo bay 3. All non-essential personnel to cargo bay 3. And beam all pets to the quarantine enclosures in sickbay. Captain out.”


Eisinga: “How is that going to help?”


LT: “If the Inj catch up with us again, they can board the ship quite easily; we can’t keep the shields up that long with the power that is currently available. If the bulk of the crew is in one place, we can defend ourselves more easily… We need to conserve the little auxiliary energy we have as much as possible. We can even switch off life support on the rest of the ship.”


Eisinga: “Then I’d actually welcome them to beam to wherever there’s no life support…”


LT: “Let’s hope they’re as stupid as we’d like them to be… Captain to Commander Reinard. Distribute weapons to all essential personnel and bring the rest to cargo bay 3.”


Reinard: “Understood, sir. I’m on it.”


LT: “One more call… Captain to sickbay.”


Shelley: “Shelley here.”


LT: “Bring as much medical supplies and portable equipment as you can find to cargo bay 3 and get your personnel over there as well as soon as things are wrapped up there.”


Shelley: “Is there a medical emergency, sir?”


LT: “No, and hopefully there won’t be. Get on it, doctor.”


Shelley: “Aye, sir. Shelley out.”


Eisinga: “Science, what’s the status on the Behemoth?”


Stilson answers, in Stuckman’s absence.


Stilson: “That thing is slowly correcting its course, probably to ram the crap out of us a second time.”


Eisinga: “Estimated time of ramming the crap out of us a second time?”


Stilson: “They’re kind of slow, but it seems they have plenty of time… I’d say we have at least 6 minutes…”


LT: “6 minutes?! Damn… Well, time may be short, but there’s nothing else to do until engineering fixes propulsion… How about that message from Newlin, Maresca?”


Maresca: “Of course, sir… It reads: ‘Grant just called me and asked why I was spamming reports… I said it seemed important enough to inform the admiral about it. I suggest you tell him something similar if he calls… When he calls…’. End of message.”


LT: “Hmm… I’m quite sure the admiral won’t be too bothered about the reports piling on his desk. He’ll a bit more discontent with the quandary we’re in right now.”


Eisinga: “One thing’s for sure… He’s going to complain about something.”


LT: “So, what else is new? Captain to engineering.”


Serrag: “Serrag here.”


LT: “Switch off life support on the entire ship except for the bridge, engineering and cargo bay 3 as soon as everyone is at any of those 3 locations.”


Serrag: “It will be done.”


LT: “How are things with the engines?”


Serrag: “Not too good, sir.”


LT: “Just curious, Serrag. Will we have propulsion in the next, oh, let’s say 5 minutes or so?”


Serrag: “Negative, captain.”


LT: “Ya, I thought so… Keep on it, lieutenant commander.”


Serrag: “We’re working as fast as ehm… humanly possible, sir. But it may be hours before we have any form propulsion.”


The captain sighs…


LT: “Alright. LT out.”


Holcraft: “Their speed is decreasing.”


Eisinga: “Aren’t they going to ram us then?”


Holcraft: “I don’t think so, sir…”


Holcraft now looks straight at the commander.


Holcraft: “I’ll bet you a space buck they’re going to try and board the ship.”


Eisinga: “Where’s a cloaking device when you need one?”


LT: “The treaty of Algeron has its disadvantages…”


Stilson: “That old treaty must be, what, 75 years old now? Isn’t it time to…”


LT: “We will discuss this some other time, because time is exactly what we don’t have right now. Neither do we have a cloaking device, since the treaty forbids it…”


The captain remains silent for a few seconds.


LT: “But there is something similar we can do…”


Eisinga: “Let me guess… Another call?”


LT: “LT to Serrag…”


Eisinga: “Yep, another call…”



SCENE 5: Bartenders be free


A little later, in engineering, at a console Margon is operating.


Serrag: “Have you opened Bart’s appearance parameter files?


Margon: “Yes, they’re open. I’m already browsing for the proper registries.”


Serrag: “Good. Serrag to Mr. Endersby. Are you busy at the moment?”


Endersby: “I’m always busy, lieutenant commander…”


Serrag: “Let me rephrase… Do you have anything fragile in your hands at the moment?”


Endersby: “Well, no, but why is that…”


Serrag hits 3 buttons in a row on Margon’s console. The bartender immediately appears in engineering, right next to the Klingon and Vulcan engineers. Bart looks around and soon after, his face warps into that of a disgruntled Cro-Magnon. He finishes his sentence in a fashion that clearly reveals his irritation.


Endersby: “…so important?... Thank you for asking me if I wanted to come over…”


Serrag: “Unfortunately, there is no time… We need you here right now.”


Endersby: “If you wanted a drink, you could’ve just walked over to that replicator over there… Now I need to do the very same thing myself… This borders on oppression, you know?…”


Serrag: “We do not desire any beverages at this time, Bart.”


Margon: “Well, I could do with…”


Serrag: “No, you couldn’t…”


Barty continues as if he didn’t hear the engineers…


Endersby: “You should experience the holonovel ‘Photons be free’ written by the famous EMH during his time on the USS Voyager. Especially Three of Eight’s speech.”


Serrag: “I am familiar with that particular holonovel, even the illegally published version you are referring to… Three of Eight has been replaced by a certain Crewman Quayle in the official release. The speech however remains the same, standing up for the rights of holograms and…”


Margon: “Enough!”


Endersby: “Excuse me? You need a lesson in manners, Mr. Klingon.”


Margon: “And you need a new skin, preferably a thicker one…”


Endersby: “A new skin? What’s all this then?”


Serrag: “Indeed… We need to do a few modifications to your program, Bart. Captain’s orders.”


Endersby: “Modifications? What sort of modifications? Why wasn’t I asked about this first?”


Serrag: “No worries, we will not change anything without your permission.”


Endersby: “Like you abducted me without my permission?”


Serrag: “The captain acknowledges your rights as a fellow human being, Bart. You have the right to say no. However, you will lose the opportunity to possibly become a hero…”


Margon can’t contain his amusement at this last remark.


Margon: “HA!”


While looking angrily at the amused Klingon, Barty asks a short question.


Endersby: “A hero?”


Serrag: “I’ll explain… But I’ll need to be short; time is running out and we still have the necessary work to do…”



SCENE 6: Blabla bluff


Stilson: “They’re right on our tail, sir.”


LT: “I know; I can feel it in my tumtum…”


Eisinga: “What are we going to do?”


LT: “Well, not a whole we can do… No weapons, no propulsion to get us out of here…”


Eisinga: “So, the initiative lies with the Inj; the race of mindless killer dwarfs.”


LT: “That about sums it up…”


Maresca: “They’re taking the initiative right now, captain. Incoming transmission from the Behemoth…”


Eisinga: “They want to talk?”


LT: “Put it through, Maresca.”


Leader: “Yag-Gog, Inj leader. You will transport your warp technology and engineers to our ship.”


LT: “Good day to you too, Mr. Yag-Gog. It seems you need a lesson in manners first. If you require something, you can always ask politely.”


Yag-Gog: “Transport your warp technology and engineers!”


LT: “Listen, it’s not like we can just install our warp technology on your ship like that. Most likely it’s not even compatible with your power systems to begin with.”


Yag-Gog: “Transport the equipment and men over or we will destroy you. Patience is wearing thin.”


LT: “I’d’ve thought you’d be a patient lot especially since you don’t have warp technology… Traveling here from another galaxy must’ve taken plenty of patience…”


Yag-Gog: “Now, captain LT!”


LT: “Since you already seem to know me, while I did not even introduce myself, I assume you know not only me, but also the reputation of this ship.”


Yag-Gog: “You have destroyed the other 2 main ships. You will die for your actions after you install warp technology on this ship.”


Serrag: “Serrag to Captain LT, urgent.”


LT signals to Maresca to mute communication between the Behemoth and the Greate Pier.


LT: “Go ahead, Serrag. Keep it short; I’m talking to the Inj.”


Serrag: “We have thrusters again, captain.”


LT: “Excellent…”


The captain remains silent for a few short seconds while thinking.


LT: “Serrag, listen carefully. I’ll send you a signal very soon. As soon as you receive it, use thrusters to stop the Greate Pier from spinning and match the Behemoth’s course and speed.”


Serrag: “Understood. Serrag out.”


LT signals Maresca again.


LT: “Yag-Gog. What makes you think I will not destroy your ship right now like I destroyed the others?”


Yag-Gog: “Your ship is disabled. Our sensors indicate you have no weapons and no working engines.”


LT: “You are a primitive race without something as simple as warp drive. How can you trust your primitive sensors? Besides, how can we install warp on your boat if you already know it’s not even working on my ship?”


Yag-Gog: “All you do is talk, human…”


LT: “It’s true for most, if not all races to first develop social skills before you can develop warp technology. Maybe you should go back to your own galaxy and work out the social issue first before coming back with your own warp technology… You’re trying to conquer a galaxy of highly developed races with a bloated, intergalactic garbage scow… Do yourself a favor and leave before you meet the same doom as the other 2 garbage scows.”


LT pushes a button on the arm rest of his chair.


LT: “And make no, mistake… We are not disabled. Leave, now.”


The signal is received by Serrag and almost instantly, the ship rights itself and matches the Behemoth’s speed and heading, like instructed. LT now stares at Yag-Gog with a very determined look.



SCENE 7: The feminine animal inside


In engineering, Margon is still working on Barty’s program. Apparently, they’re in a heated discussion…


Endersby: “Is that so, Klingon? So you think I’m just a piece of technology… A tool… A collection of photons that makes your drink float to your table whenever you snap your fingers… Just wait until I’m dubbed a hero by the captain.”


Margon: “A hero? HAHAHAHA! Don’t count on it… I mean, you’re not even real!”


Endersby: “Of course I’m real… You’re not talking to an imaginary person are you?”


Margon: “Well, no… Ehm…”


Endersby: “You'd need counseling then... You can see me and touch me, though I’d rather have you didn’t… So I am real…”


Margon: “Alright, alright… So you’re real. But artificial… What should we call it then?”


Serrag does one of his famous walkby’s.


Serrag: “Bartificial.”


Margon: “HAHAHAHA! Good one, Vulcan.”


Endersby: “Oh, ‘ha-ha-ha’… Very funny.”


Margon: “Laugh for once, you collection of photons.”


Bart, still grumpy:


Endersby: “Try being funny first.”


Margon: “Shut up and stand still… I’m about to do a test.”


Endersby: “In an attempt to be funny I hope?”


Margon just shows an evil grin as he pushes some buttons on his console. The bartender’s appearance changes into that of an iguana.


Endersby: “Me and my big mouth…”


Margon: “WHAHAHAHAHA! This is so epic…”


Serrag walks by again seeing the result of Margon’s experimentation. In a calm voice, pretending not to be amused:


Serrag: “Oh, I see you managed to successfully run the parameter editor… Excellent.”


Endersby: “Do something, Serrag… This isn’t funny.”


Serrag: “Margon, you should go for more realism… You know iguanas don’t talk.”


Margon: “I can mute him if you like. HAHAHAHA!”


Serrag: “Changing him back to human will do the trick as well.”


Margon: “Hehehe, alright…”


Endersby: “Finally…”


Margon operates the console again and reptilian Bart changes to human form again. A female human that is. He, or ehm… she looks exactly like Bart, but a female version.


Endersby: “Ah, that’s much better…”


He now realizes the differences from his regular appearance including his feminine voice. Serrag can’t help but join Margon in an outburst of laughter.


Endersby: “What the…?! MARGON!”


Serrag: “Hilarious! I’d love to see some more outfits, Bart, but we need to get things done. Margon, how close are we?”


Margon: “Should be easy from here. I shouldn’t need more than a couple of minutes.”


Endersby: “I sure hope so…”


Serrag: “Hang in there, Bartina…”


Bartina crosses her arms and looks even grumpier than Margon in sickbay.



SCENE 8: Catch-22


On the bridge, the captains of the 2 ships are still throwing words at each other.


Yag-Gog: “I am not impressed by your bluff… Your ship is still helpless. Send the equipment and workforces to install it immediately.”


LT: “You know, as a tip towards starting your social development, you seem to repeat yourself a little too much. We already know what you want. But you already know we won’t give it to you as well…”


Yag-Gog: “My patience has run out, captain.”


LT: “Indeed. Please hold.”


Eisinga facepalms after hearing the captain’s latest taunt. At that same moment, the latter signals Maresca again who mutes the communication again.


LT: “LT to engineering. How are things progressing, Serrag? I can’t stall for much longer…”


Serrag: “A few more minutes according to Lieutenant Margon, sir.”


LT: “Alright. Stalling them for that long shouldn’t be a problem… But keep up the tempo…”


Serrag: “Copy that. Serrag out.”


LT instructs Maresca to open communications again.


LT: “Thank you so much for holding, sir.”


Yag-Gog: “Time is up, captain. No more delays. No more talk.”


LT: “Alright, alright… We know when we’ve lost… I’m sending over an engineering team right now with the necessary equipment to check out your ship. LT out.”


The captain signals Maresca one last time and she immediately cuts communications. The captain sits back down in his chair. Moments of silence follow. The first officer next to him isn’t sure what is going on.


Eisinga: “I’m not sure what is going on…”


LT: “Nothing is. But they don’t need to know that.”


Eisinga: “Sir?”


LT: “I’m just buying some time, Eldert… I need engineering to finish work on Bart first.”


Eisinga: “And then?”


LT: “Well, unless engineering finds a way to give us more than just thrusters, we’re going to have to face being boarded.”


Eisinga stands up from his chair and kneels down on one knee next to the captain’s chair. Don’t worry, he’s not going to propose; it’s not like that. Eisinga’s left arm is resting on the captain’s right arm rest. The both of them are looking at the Inj ship on the main screen. The first officer’s voice is lowered so no one but LT can hear him.


Eisinga: “You seem to remain quite calm under the circumstances…”


LT: “Would you have me panic, Eldert? Things are as they are and we need to stay focused on what we can do rather than on what we can’t do. We can’t fly away, we can’t shoot and we can’t cloak. So, we need to fight it out right here onboard.”


Eisinga: “The odds are against us, LT.”


LT: “Only if everyone thinks in such a negative way.”


Eisinga: “It’s 11,000 against 500…”


LT: “So, each of us needs to kill just 22 of those singed Hobbits and we’re good.”


Eisinga: “Well, if you put it like that…”



SCENE 9: The good bartender, the bad Klingon and the ugly Inj


Bart, still in female form, is still annoyed.


Endersby: “At least change me back to my original form…”


The Klingon continues his work without looking up.


Margon: “No time for that…”


Serrag drops in once again when Bart, or Bartina, sighs deeply.


Serrag: “Done?”


Margon: “Just about… I just hope his matrix can keep stable; she has never had this exact modification installed before…”


Endersby: “HE! I’m a HE! And my matrix will hold… I’m not a cheap Lesepian holographic waiter, you know?”


Serrag is checking the data on the screen above the console to see what Margon has been up to.


Serrag: “This looks about right… Shall we test it?”


Margon: “Here goes…”


Margon uploads the modifications and the holographic bartender seems to disappear.


Endersby: “Finally you got it right, you retarded tinkerer…”


The Klingon ignores the insult.


Margon: “Seems to be stable, sir.”


Serrag: “Good… Bart, can you walk around a little and also test if you can still pick up stuff?”


Endersby: “You want to test if I’m still solid to the touch?”


Serrag: “Indeed… If the captain indeed orders you to sabotage the ship, you better be able to still push buttons while being invisible.”


Endersby: “I’m telling you, something weird is going on, and for the first time I actually can put my finger on it… Or rather my whole hand…”


Margon feels a seriously hard slap in his face. Serrag is amused.


Margon: “AH! What the…”


Endersby: “Hey, it works!”


Serrag: “Good enough for me. Serrag to the captain… Bart is ready.”


LT: “Alright, thank you, Serrag… Please assign all personnel to propulsion again. I’ll try and stall them as long as I can…”


Serrag: “Understood.”


LT: “Do you have a better estimation yet as to when we might have impulse drive again?”


Serrag: “It might be as much as 4 hours and 12 minutes, sir…”


LT: “Hmmm, I might need to resort to praying if I’m to stall them that long, hahaha…”


Serrag: “No, don’t go desperate on me, sir. I assure you, we’re all on it down here…”


LT: “Keep me posted…”


Serrag: “Will do. Serrag out.”


Eisinga: “So, now we wait?”


LT: “Now we wait.”


As if it was scripted, all of a sudden the Greate Pier is being shot at by the gigantic Behemoth.


LT: “That’s it? Well, that felt like nothing more than a warning shot I guess…”


Maresca: “Incoming transmission from the Inj leader, sir.”


Eisinga: “Well, we didn’t have to wait that long…”


LT: “Hold that call for a second, Maresca. LT to Serrag again…”


Serrag: “Go ahead again, sir.”


LT: “I know we don’t have weapons yet, but is it possible to deploy the Greate Cannon anyway?”


Serrag: “Yes, I think so, sir. The deployment mechanism is on a separate circuit which I can route auxiliary power through.”


LT: “Again, on my signal in a few moments, Serrag, deploy and aim at the Behemoth.”


Serrag: “Understood, my finger’s on the button…”


LT: “LT out. Maresca, put the call through…”


The ugly Inj leader appears on screen again.


LT: “Good day, neighbor. What can I do for you?”


Yag-Gog: “May that serve as a warning to you. Install the equipment. Now!”


LT: “Before I can install our warp system on your ship, I need to dismantle it first. That will take a while.”


Yag-Gog: “How long?”


LT: “I’ve got all my engineers on it, but it still might take 2, maybe 3 days… Installing it on your ship will take a further week, if not more…”


Yag-Gog: “Unacceptable!”


LT: “You will have to accept it… It cannot be rushed. Normally it takes centuries to develop this sort of technology. One or 2 weeks seems acceptable by any standard.”


Yag-Gog: “You are deceiving me!”


LT: “No, you are deceiving yourself… You don’t need me for that…”


Yag-Gog: “Then I don’t need you at all. Prepare to be boarded.”


LT: “You do not want to do that… Because I have indeed been deceiving you.”


The captain pushes the button on his arm rest again. Serrag immediately deploys the Greate Cannon.


LT: “Leave while you still can, or be destroyed yourself. I do not need to remind you again of the Greate Pier’s reputation in this.”


The Inj leader does something no Inj has been seen doing before. He shows his ugly, yet sharp teeth and utters a slow and short laugh before cutting communication.


Eisinga: “Ehm, I don’t think he’s buying it…”


LT: “I’m sure he’s not buying it… Dammit! LT to all engineering personnel. Make your way to cargo bay 3 immediately. Serrag, switch off life support in engineering as soon as you’ve left and erect a force field around the cargo bay…”


Serrag: “Understood, we’ll be gone in 10 seconds… Serrag out.”


Holcraft: “Sir, Inj soldiers are boarding the ship! Engineering section. There are some 40 of them there!”


LT: “Has life support been deactivated?”


Holcraft: “No not, yet…”


LT: “What about the engineering crew?”


Holcraft: “They’re all in the corridors on their way to the cargo bay. The Inj are by themselves.”


Almost immediately, Holcraft has news.


Holcraft: “Sir! According to internal sensors, they’re gasping for air that isn’t there! Serrag has switched off life support!”


LT: “Good, good!”


Eisinga: “I’m not so sure…”


LT: “Why not?”


Eisinga: “If they can’t board the ship, they’ll blow it to pieces…”


LT: “Yes, I’m not sure they still require our warp technology anymore…”


Eisinga: “They need us to install it… I bet they stole all the technology they already have… That would explain the inconsistencies… No warp, good weapons, lacking social skills and manners…”


Holcraft: “Most of them are knocked out or already dead, sir.”


Eisinga: “Either they’re not aware of the lack of oxygen or they don’t care about their crew.”


LT: “Could be either indeed…”


Holcraft: “Sir, a new batch is beaming to engineering right now…”


LT: “Can you get a visual on screen?”


Holcraft: “Of course, sir.”


The engineering department appears on the main viewer… 40 dead or dying Inj litter the floor. The new arrivals are still on their feet. And they’ll stay that way…


Eisinga: “They have breathing equipment!”


LT: “Damn!”


Holcraft: “Sir, more Inj are beaming aboard. Deck 12, 7 and 3… Deck 11… Deck 5… They’re everywhere! 300 individuals and counting… Deck 2…”


LT: “Ok, I’ve heard enough. Holcraft, seal all emergency bulkheads and lock all doors. Alright, people, listen up. We’re going to cargo bay 3 as well… Grab your own air supplies and set your phasers to kill.”


People are starting to move around.


Eisinga: “Line up at the Jefferies tube hatch near the left turbo lift.”


Moments later, the captain wants to enter the Jefferies tube first after one last command on the bridge.


LT: “Computer, security lockout of command functions on the entire ship, except my location and cargo bay 3. Code Omicron 107.”


Computer: “Code confirmed. Security lockout in effect.”


The captain is holding a small, mask-type breathing apparatus with a little, horizontal air cylinder.


LT: “Alright, folks… Breathe normally, keep your phasers in hand and the last in line closes and locks all of the hatches.”


Eisinga: “Sir, I think I should take point…”


K’Ehlen: “I don’t think so… I’m a security officer; I will lead.”


She almost pushes the two highest ranked officers out of the way and enters the crawl-way first. After she is well inside and out of sight, the captain responds…


LT: “Well, ehm… Go ahead then, ensign…”


Eisinga: “My turn.”


The captain looks back at the row of officers waiting to enter the tubes.


LT: “Anyone else want to cut in line or can I go?”


Holcraft, next in line, uses a hand signal and a smile on his face to tell the captain he can go…


LT: “Thanks.”


The captain enters, soon to be followed by Holcraft and the rest of the bridge crew. A little while later, at the front of the train.


K’Ehlen: “The next bulkhead. Stack up.”


The 4 officers at the front gather as close to the door as they can and aim their phasers at it. K’Ehlen opens the bulkhead. Nothing.


K’Ehlen: “It’s clear. Proceeding…”


The team crawls on.


Eisinga: “Ensign, do you know the way?”


The Klingon female stops and turns her face towards her superior.


K’Ehlen: “You mean you don’t?”


Eisinga: “Well, I was just asking… I mean, you don’t usually crawl around the Jefferies tubes as a tactical officer.”


K’Ehlen: “Klingons usually don’t crawl around like cowards at all… But I know my way, commander.”


LT: “Let’s keep it moving, people… And keep talking to a minimum, the air reserves in these masks are limited.”


The team moves on again. A while later K’Ehlen arrives at the next bulkhead.


K’Ehlen: “Get ready again…”


Again the same 4 officers stack up on the door followed by the Klingon opening it. As soon as the door is but halfway open, firing commences. This entire light show takes place in under 2 seconds… There are 3 Inj critters in the section ahead. The Inj, clearly in the advantage because of their size, return fire. Two of them don’t get to fire more than 1 shot, as they are surprised by the bridge crew. The 3rd Inj fires multiple shots and actually manages to hit the captain. K’Ehlen’s expert weapons handling takes care of the alien.


LT: “Ah crap! Not my right arm again, you damn bastards…”


Holcraft: “Can you continue, sir?”


LT: “Yes, of course… Anyone else hurt?”


Eisinga: “Nothing serious I believe.”


LT: “Let’s move those bodies out of the way and move on…”


The crew moves on yet again. Soon after they arrive at another hatch.


Eisinga: “More surprises beyond this hatch?”


K’Ehlen: “We shall see… Stand ready.”


Holcraft: “I wish I could stand…”


K’Ehlen opens the hatch halfway but then notices a bigger problem. The Jefferies junction beyond the hatch is crawling with Inj. At least a dozen of them are in the junction area or close by in connecting tubes. K’Ehlen quickly closes the hatch again and locks it, narrowly avoiding being hit by a single shot from one of the alarmed Inj.


K’Ehlen: “We’ve got a problem, sir. There are about a dozen of them there, from what I could see.”


LT: “Damn…”


Eisinga: “We can’t fight off a dozen Inj in these cramped surroundings… They’ll butcher us…”


Holcraft: “Maybe we should find another route.”


Eisinga: “I don’t know; we’re almost there…”


K’Ehlen: “So you do know where we are…”


The captain looks behind him.


LT: “Pass a phaser down from the one behind you, Holcraft.”


Stuckman: “Oh great… What am I going to do now? Throw deck plates at them?”


LT: “You’ll be the first one to safety, Stuckman.”


Stuckman: “Safety? On a ship crawling with miniature assassins?”


Holcraft passes Stuckman’s phaser to the captain.


LT: “Give this to K’Ehlen.”


Eisinga passes it along.


LT: “Set it to overload and throw it in the junction.”


K’Ehlen: “Yes, sir. Good thinking…”


She taps a few tiny buttons on the weapon and the classic overload-in-progress sound is heard.


Eisinga: “K’Ehlen?”


K’Ehlen: “Sir?”


Eisinga: “Don’t forget to close the door after you throw it…”


The annoyed Klingon tactics expert looks at the commander with piercing eyes.


K’Ehlen: “I might throw you in after the phaser…”


LT: “Would you kindly throw that thing in first before it explodes right here?”


Without answering, K’Ehlen unlocks the hatch, opens it just enough for the phaser to fit through and throws it in. As per Commander Eisinga’s request, she shuts the door and locks it. The team doesn’t have to wait long for the device to self destruct. A loud explosion is heard from beyond the hatch, quickly followed by the thumps of Inj bodies hitting the floor.


LT: “Let’s check it out. Open the hatch carefully.”


K’Ehlen unlocks the hatch and opens it halfway. She peers into the junction but doesn’t see any threats.


K’Ehlen: “All clear.”


Before she gets the order, K’Ehlen already enters the junction.


LT: “Let’s move, people.”


The next hatch is the one to the left. It is already open and the crew crawls in.


K’Ehlen: “The next hatch is across the corridor from the door to the cargo bay.”


Once arrived at the hatch the team gathers as closely to it as they can.


LT: “Take a peek, ensign.”


K’Ehlen opens the hatch and looks into the corridor in both directions.


K’Ehlen: “It’s clear.”


LT: “Alright. What’s the number above the door to the cargo bay, ensign?”


K’Ehlen: “06 dash 1231.”


LT: “LT to Serrag. Can you open door 06 dash 1231 and drop the force field there? We’d like to join you.”


Serrag: “Just a second, captain, I’m on it.”


The Vulcan engineer taps a few buttons on a PADD. Mere seconds later, the door opens and the force field in front of it drops.


LT: “Thank you, Serrag. We’ll be there shortly.”


The captain addresses his tube mates.


LT: “K’Ehlen, Eisinga, Holcraft and myself will take up positions in the corridor, 2 on each side with phasers drawn. After that, the rest of you cross the corridor and enter the cargo bay as fast as you can. Alright, K’Ehlen, go.”


The first 4 in line take up position in the corridor to protect the queue of people behind them. ‘Stuckman the unarmed’ is the first to reach the cargo bay safely. The rest follows slowly, as it’s slow going exiting the Jefferies tube hatch.


From around the bend, at Captain LT and Holcraft’s side of the corridor, 3 Inj soldiers are sprinting their way. They immediately open fire upon each other. 6 more people need to cross the corridor to get to the cargo bay. The Inj are quickly dealt with, but before the last one hits the deck plates, there are 4 Inj coming from the other side. They open fire upon K’Ehlen and Eisinga. K’Ehlen is hit in her left leg, but returns fire with a fiery rage as her facial expression. Eisinga, shooting like crazy at the critters, is hit in his stomach area and falls to the ground. K’Ehlen finishes off the last Inj standing.


The last person exits the hatch and runs into the cargo bay.


LT: “Let’s go, people!”


K’Ehlen: “The commander is down!”


Holcraft and the captain run towards the downed colleague.


LT: “Grab his legs, Giles.”


Holcraft: “Are you ok, K’Ehlen? You’re injured as well…”


They lift the Eisinga up and put him down just inside the cargo bay. As soon as K’Ehlen limps in after them, Serrag closes the door and raises the force field again.


K’Ehlen: “I’m fine.”


Doctor Shelley and a few colleagues rush towards the newly arrived injured. Shelley scans Eisinga and Cole checks the status of K’Ehlen.


Cole: “No, you’re not fine.”


K’Ehlen: “I’m fine! Just help with healing the commander first.”


Cole: “Do you want to die in battle? You’re losing a lot of blood. Lie down.”


K’Ehlen: “Just sweep your medical repair tool thing over my leg and close the wound.”


Cole: “Lie down before you pass out due to a lack of blood. You’re bleeding like a stuck Targ.”


K’Ehlen sighs but reluctantly complies and lies down on the floor.


Serrag: “She has a terrible floorside manner…”


K’Ehlen: “Alright, nurse, alright…”


Cole: “That’s doctor now, ensign…”


K’Ehlen: “Nurse, doctor, quack, whatever… Just get on with it.”


Meanwhile, 34 centimeters away, Shelley is checking the commander’s status.


Shelley: “I don’t understand why the commander is so lucky… There is some internal damage, a concussion from the fall and a few burns on his skin, but nothing life threatening.”


Serrag tries to lighten the mood a little.


Serrag: “Maybe that Inj forgot to plug his arm into a socket last night…”


Shelley: “Serrag, why don’t you find somewhere else to crack jokes… How’s K’Ehlen doing, Yasmine?”


Serrag shrugs and walks towards the captain, whom is also treated by a member of the medical staff.


Cole: “She won’t see Sto-vo-kor today, doctor. The worst I diagnosed her with was stubbornness.”


She now directs her words at her patient.


Cole: “All the damage is repaired but you’ve lost a lot of blood, ensign. You need to take it slow for the next few days.”


K’Ehlen: “If we get to see a few more days…”


Cole: “Staying positive would help you more… Ask Margon about it.”


K’Ehlen: “I can’t take it slow anyway; I’m needed in my position as tactical officer now more than ever.”


The Klingon woman stands up and tries to walk away. After just 2 or 3 steps she collapses and brings her hand to her ridged forehead…


K’Ehlen: “Ugh… Maybe not…”


Cole: “Do you have any new wounds I can take care of? Or maybe a hypo for that persistent stubbornness?”


With a throwaway gesture and a grunt the conversation ends.


K’Ehlen: “Gah!”


Holcraft helps the tactical officer up and guides her to a nearby crate to sit on, close to where Serrag and the captain are talking.


Cole: “You were right, doctor. Klingons are the worst patients.”


LT: “So, what’s the deal, Serrag?”


Serrag: “Well, it’s a good news bad news situation, sir.”


LT: “Give me the bad news first…”


Serrag: “Our chances of survival are 0.71% if we stay here…”


LT: “’If we stay here’? Were else are we going to go?! We need to stay here and fight… I see no other alternative…”


Noises are heard at the very same door the captain and his bridge crew came in through. The Inj are trying to break open the door.


LT: “Are they doing what I think they are doing?”


Serrag: “I’m afraid so…”


LT: “How long do we have?”


Serrag: “My calculated guess is they’ll barge in here in 25 minutes and 17 seconds…”


Holcraft: “How can you be so precise?”


Serrag: “Simple. Including foreseeable power consumption for all of us here, including the power I allocated for Mr. Endersby and his tasks, that’s when power will run out and force fields will drop…”


Holcraft: “We can never fight off 11,000 Inj…”


Stuckman: “Captain, what are we going to do?”


(to be continued...)



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